Recovering from recovery

Recovery, at first, is really, really awful. Trying to stop drinking when it has become your standard way to deal with feelings, issues, and stress is- quite honestly- a real bitch. But I’m past that. I’m on day 43 and feeling good. I am confident and know that as long as I stay within the day, I’ll be just fine. My only problem now is recovering from the recovery. I’m doing well, but my alcoholism did a lot damage, some to me but more to the people around me. The residue and impact of this damage is still around. Sometimes I’ll be going through life happy, sober, and confident, then the effect of the damage I’ve done comes around and smacks me in the face like a 2x4. It’s a very incongruent feeling. I almost feel guilty for feeling happy and confident. immediately, you feel like a loser drunk again. All those feelings of depression and hopelessness come rushing right back into my brain. Recovery has become easy. Recover from memories and effects of what I’ve dine is not.