Step 9

This last weekend, I completed Alcoholic's Anonymous Step 9. I blogged the 12 AA steps earlier, but in case you don't remember- they are: 1.We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable. 2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5.Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6.Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7.Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 8.Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10.Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. 11.Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12.Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Step 9 is famous for being one of the most difficult-- "Made direct amends to such people (those who I had harmed) wherever possible, except where to do so would injure them or others." You need to speak to your sponsor and get direct coaching on it before taking Step 9. You are instructed not to apologize or say "I'm sorry" (no one wants to hear an alcoholic say "I'm sorry" again). You are told to tell the person you are an alcoholic and the wrongs you have done to them. It isn't necessary or helpful to go into every single detail. This is helpful for me because I'm a "black out drunk" and frankly can't remember every detail. You then ask the person what you can do to make amends. Some people have a really hard time with it. I go to AA with one women, who tried to do Step 9 with her Aunt. When she asked what she could do to make amends, her Aunt said "Why don't you just go die?". Most of the time, people respond by just asking you to stay sober, keep going to AA or going to counseling. Some Alcoholics have to deal with stolen money, damaged property, infidelity, so these amends are very difficult. Since most of the people to whom I needed to make amends were in my family, I knew I would get a loving response. So, I took an extra step and tried to think of some things I could under take on my own as penance. I've never heard of another alcoholic doing this, but it worked for me. I made donations to MADD, Isaiah's House (a local organization that provides alcoholism rehabilitation for low income men) and the National Coalition for the Children of Alcoholics. In addition, I'm volunteering as a tutor during the week at Collins Children's Home, an orphanage in Seneca. I meet with them this Wednesday. I'll keep everyone posted.