"Dubious Luxury"

AA is very flexible, yet completely inflexible. Each group operates independently, guided by only a few simple rules- yet some things are common to every AA on the planet. One is the "Big Book"- the chronically blue large volume that guide alcoholics everyhere, and another is "Daily Reflections", covering each day of the calendar year. Today's Reflection is "Anger- a Dubious Luxury". Here it is--- "If we were to live, we had to be free from anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may the the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things were poison." As an alcoholic, I have an irreversible medical condition. It is embedded in my DNA. I can't change it. To make things worse, my behavior has cemented that neural pathway to cope with unhappiness, depression, etc... As a result, I need to work constantly to control my behavior-- not to be passive and without emotion, but to accept things around me instead of building up anger and resentment. I can't carry these things around or they will destroy me. A normal person can be mad for years about something--- this is the dubious luxury-- but I cannot.