Thursday, December 27, 2018
Wise words from an addict
I attended AA in Altoona today, and this AA like many others has both alcoholics and drug addicts-- this is often the case when a region has a NA (Narcotics Anonymous). I've developed a real soft spot for addicts. The world is kinder to alcoholics and an alcoholic in recovery is almost considered heroic (although I have to confess this is always jaded by the near universal feeling that you could collapse and relapse at any time), but addicts are always disdained- even in recovery. It seems like it's OK for celebrities to be addicts in recovery but society regard run of the mill addicts in recovery with great skepticism. I also feel for addicts because it's much easier to get free from alcohol than drugs (not that it's easy! It's a huge amount of work and pain, but I think the addict has it 5X harder). Today in AA we were talking about loneliness. An addict new to recovery said his disease wanted him to be lonely and isolated. This is a very good expression of reality. My alcoholic brain doesn't work right, and I easily fall into being lonely, isolated, feeling sorry for myself, which is all the path to drinking or using. I am oh so good at being lonely and feeling sorry for myself. Even when I'm around family and friends, sometimes I struggle with feeling lonely because of my alcoholic brain, and I need to recognize this and make connections when it happens. Making connections and talking about it always dissipates the power of the loneliness and fear.
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