“Happy”

I was talking to Kelsey yesterday and she said she was a good driver. I told her she clearly didn’t understand the meaning of “good” (LOL). I think over the last two years I really forgot what “happy” was. I would sometimes try really, really hard to be happy, but that’s about as effective as trying really hard to make yourself laugh. I also spent a lot of time pretending to be happy. In retrospect, I’m sure this was completely ineffective. To make things worse, nothing will plunge you into depression faster than faking happiness. Now, things are so different. I’m actually happy without trying, even in the face of adversity. It’s such a complete relief and a blessing greater than anything I imagined was even possible.